blackboyjoy – malcom moon

#INSECUREISHERE

February 7, 2021 by malcommoon

creation, dancing, directing, independent artist, insecure, insecure is coming, insecure is here, manifesting, music, music video, photography, producing, recording, reflection, songwriting

“[‘insecure’] was a blossoming and awakening for Malcom as we have come to know him. It was the world’s first look at Malcom Moon—the pop star.” – Rachel Shuford

I’ve always been obsessed with music. While most kids were collecting Pokémon cards or practicing their jump shot, I was glued to my boombox studying the liner notes of my favorite artists’ new album. At a young age, I was becoming familiar with the various roles involved in creating a project. You had the singer, but then you had the songwriter, producer, and the like. I noticed that a lot of my favorites not only sung the songs, but they also wrote and sometimes produced the music too. That revelation built a deep-rooted appreciation for music as a form of storytelling and escapism. It’s crazy that my wildest dream of creating my own musical narrative would come true. February 7, 2020 would become a milestone in my life, and “insecure” would be the vehicle to introduce Malcom Moon as a singer, songwriter, dancer, director/producer, and visionary on the rise.

“Working on ‘insecure’ was an awesome experience. I had just moved to New York and working with Malcom was a great welcome to the city. We ended up working on many more songs, but ‘insecure’ is a special one for sure.” – Chris LaBella

On August 8, 2018, I had stepped off the JMZ line in a part of Brooklyn that wasn’t familiar. I was heading to a new producer’s spot to work on something brand new. We had met through Bird Language (a musical duo with production credits on “casual,” “honeymoon phase,” and “backstabbers”), and prior to this session, we had never truly worked together. I remember I was nervous as hell. I was still unsure of myself as an artist and songwriter, but I was excited to see what we could create together. Little did I know that this man would help me discover my sound and produce a majority of my upcoming record.

Chris LaBella is seriously a genius. His musicianship is otherworldly, from picking up the bass and laying down a funky line to playing the foundational chords on the keys. He also has a really good ear for melodies and harmonies. When I got to his place, I was freaking out because I had nothing planned. No lyric ideas or rough demos to springboard off of. All I knew is that I wanted to create something more upbeat with jazz chords. From there, Chris started to play around on the keyboard, while I sat back with my songbook in hand listening for anything that jumped out to me. Eventually, he played what would be the chord progression for the chorus. Immediately, my ears perked up, I opened up voice memos, and I started humming along and mapping out the melody.

“Dada dada da da da, dada dada da da da, dada dada da da da, I can’t get over you.” Chris has this unspoken way of just sensing the vibe in the room. He could tell that I was onto something and really encouraged me to keep going with that idea. So while he expanded on the production loop by adding bass and a drum pattern, I kept recording little voice memos of ideas. Questions started to formulate like, “Do I ever cross my mind? Do you ever wonder why? Do you ever think that l’d…” I recorded them. Then, I kept getting this melodic line that felt sassy and demanding. “What are we gonna do?” It was cocky yet vulnerable. I started to create a narrative of unrequited love, and how in previous life experiences, I desperately wanted to know where I stood. Then one of the greatest gifts came into my head. “How are you gonna fix it?” I kept repeating it over and over with little variations each time. I could hear it being layered and knew that it would be a special moment. At the end of the session, Chris sent me a bounce file of the track and I went home.

aaliyah’s infamous tommy hilfiger ad (left)
channeling babygirl on set (right) / photography by Rachel Indisposable

I wrote “insecure” in 25 minutes at Hamilton’s Cafe Restaurant on Broadway. It was a very stream of consciousness process where I just spilled out all my thoughts. I thought about all of my insecurities in a new “situationship.” How I used to wait by the phone for a text and how consumed my thoughts were on the possibility that this guy might feel the same about me. It was the first song that I didn’t make any edits or revisions. What I wrote in that coffee shop is what you hear on the record. When I brought it in for my next session with Chris, I thought he was gonna hate it. It was so different from everything that I’d done prior. The second verse was veiled in metaphor and rhythmically different from the verse. But he truly dug it and was excited to lay down the vocals.

That recording session is still my favorite of all-time. We were just so in-sync and laid down the demo quickly. The best part was coming up with harmonies and vocal layering. Channeling one of my idols Brandy, I was determined to have a rich textural climax with multiple stacks and a call-and-response section. We wanted it to sound like all the voices in your head building up to its boiling point. Hearing it back a cappella is still a moment of pride. Every piece locked in perfectly. It was the most fun day in the studio. I was able to try new things, and Chris encouraged it. Even when I was feeling very Janet Jackson a la The Velvet Rope and decided to record a spoken outro section. I knew the conversational aspect would be an important element. It’s all about the details.

levi directing the bedroom scene
photography by Rachel Indisposable

“In all of my conversations with Malcom, I got the sense that he was very meticulous with how he approached his career and his art. What really proved that to me was the fact that he already had a clear vision and plan for so many aspects of the EP.” – Levi Barrie

Whenever I create music, I immediately see color schemes, tableaux, and strong visuals. Maybe it’s synesthesia. Maybe it’s my love for film, theatre, and photography. Maybe it’s due to my obsession for 106 & Park and studying the work of Hype Williams, Dave Meyers, and Jake Nava. Whatever the case may be, I knew “insecure” needed a music video. I set up a meeting with my friend, Levi Barrie, to pitch my idea for a music video and see if he would be interested in directing. “Prior to this meeting, I had never heard Malcom sing,” Barrie recounts. “I listened to 3 essentially completed tracks from the project and my initial feeling was relief, which quickly turned into being impressed because I genuinely really dug the music.”

The overall concept was to visually showcase the feeling of solitude and isolation. Being trapped by your own thoughts and longing for connection. The only way to escape your mental prison is to take that leap of faith. “Needless to say, I was sold,” Levi states. From there, it was off to the races. Together, we fleshed out my rough outline of the treatment while I scouted out a location, choreographer, photographer, and crew for the shoot.

“His music makes me want to explore the emotions hidden in the deep fabrics of my being.” – Negesti

Negesti and I went to college together, and I’d always been a fan of her work on campus. Her movement had a mixture of fluidity and sharpness to it. You could feel the passion and intention behind each phrase. Not to mention, she also danced with the legendary Janet Jackson. So to have her choreograph my debut music video was a huge blessing. “Malcom is one of the most intentional artists I’ve had the pleasure of working with,” says Negesti. “So intentional, that creating for him was seamless and inspiring.” She made me feel so confident and gave me the best advice for working on sets. What many don’t know is that we only had one rehearsal together. I had to learn the choreo quickly and practice every day leading up to the shoot. It was definitely one of the hardest parts of creating the visual, but I wanted to show every facet of me as an artist. I wanted to feel like Aaliyah and shape shift into various aspects of the performer. This could be my only shot. “As a fellow Trinity alum, it was a blessing to have been a part of his project and I hope this isn’t the last time that I take part in his magic,” she expresses.

a still from the “insecure” music video

“I knew this project was special and it was easy to channel the inspiration since I connected with it so effortlessly. I’m honored to have been part of this and proud of my friend for creating something so so beautiful.” – Sakile Broomes of BlaqueX Nail Art

I wanted to serve looks in this visual. I wanted each shot to become progressively more and more striking to keep the viewer engaged. After creating each outfit myself and pairing them with each scene, I thought it would be really cool to collaborate with BlaqueX Nail Art. My good friend Sakile Broomes is the owner of the mobile nail art salon, and we had been speaking for years about a possible collaboration with my music. “Creating the nail art for ‘insecure’ was fun and easy,” Sakile recalls. Once she heard the song and saw my mood board, she created a custom intergalactic design featuring the moon, stars, and the Milky Way. I was obsessed. The nail art played on the dreamy production, my last name, and the duality of masculine and feminine in my work. “insecure” has a lot of references to discovering your sexuality with lines like “bit the forbidden fruit cause I wanted to explore.” I strived to make every element intentional and supportive of all the themes within the lyrics. Plus, the nail art just made me feel confident and badass.

the single artwork for “insecure”
photography by Rachel Indisposable

Thinking ahead, I knew that I would need some promotional footage to share on social and more importantly for the single artwork. I quickly enlisted my girl, Rachel Shuford of Rachel Indisposable, to capture the magic behind the scenes and shoot the cover art. What I love about working with Rachel is how relaxed she makes me feel in front of the camera. It never feels like work. She also has this unique gift of capturing the essence of her subject and showing you these hidden mysteries that you don’t often see in yourself.

The unexpected nature of how the single artwork came together highlights the magic of challenging your perspective. Rachel sent over the photos from her disposable camera which were great, but I remember she took some Polaroids and I was interested in seeing them again. When she sent over the scans, it had multiple Instax shots on the frame. She had grouped them by outfit and color scheme. When I got to the scan with the bed shots, I couldn’t stop looking at it. First off, it was the only set that I didn’t have my glasses on—which if you know me, you know I never willingly take off my glasses in public. Normally when I see photos of me without my glasses, I feel like I look haggard and gross. But this time, I saw a beautiful vulnerability. With the negative space surrounding the shots, it gave me a sense of putting together the pieces of my emotions and thoughts. I then thought what if I wrote out the title “insecure” in my handwriting on the image to give it a more textured, human vibe. And based solely on that emotional response is how the artwork was born.

“We did a lot with minimal resources, and we had a great time making it. Many projects come and go without much of anything that is memorable about them, but this is one that comes with special memories.” – Levi Barrie

The “insecure” video shoot was an 8 hour day at Theaterlab near Hudson Yards. Levi and I had mapped it out to ensure that everyone got a break to grab a meal (except for us). It was a long day, but it was extremely rewarding for me as a creative. It was my first time making a music video in which I had support. Thank God for all of my friends who agreed to help make my dream become a reality. I had a production manager, sound operator, lighting designer, and makeup/wardrobe assistant. I was doing it big! Everyone had the same goal and truly believed in the project. That’s what I loved most about the process. That unconditional love and support.

my favorite photo ever
photography by Rachel Indisposable

There were so many great memories on set from creating my own labyrinth with huge moveable panels to creating the ending phone call scene. By the way, I thought it would be super cool to plant an Easter egg in the video. When my phone rings, if you quickly freeze the frame, you can see that the caller ID is “Casual.” That was an intentional nod to a song on the EP of the same name which directly follows “insecure” in the track listing. Also, the entire phone conversation alludes to the title of my EP, Conversations In My Driveway. Again, it’s all about the details.

Anyway, I have to talk about the bed scene in the video and one of the most important props. So, the premise around the scene was to showcase those late night thoughts of seduction when you’re by yourself and a little tipsy. You get all roused up in the fantasy but eventually realize that you are all alone. “Man, I think I drank too much.” Levi was brilliant in directing the scene, and I knew that I wanted it to be hot and steamy. So I got this idea that we should spray my body down with water to help my skin glisten and activate the muscle tone. Listen, it works. But it soon became a running joke between takes. We need more water. Hannah Kern was dubbed my “spritz queen” and made sure that my skin looked amazing in every shot. Every time Levi yelled “cut,” another spritz was applied. It’s those little moments that I’ll never forget.

“insecure” would become my most successful single to date with over 1,000+ streams on Spotify. It would also land a placement on Spotify’s New from NYC: Pop playlist and garner more positive responses from friends and strangers around the world. It would also attract good feedback from industry professionals during its early development stages, which still blows my mind. Never in a million years did I think this song would change my life the way it did. I’m forever humbled by the continued love and support that I receive. As we celebrate one year of “insecure,” I cannot help but smile. Who knew that a song about insecurities, the fear of being alone, discovering your sexuality, and doubt would connect with so many. It makes me extremely excited to keep going and present new music. Whether it’s 5 people or 12,000 people listening, I will always be abundantly grateful to the listener for taking the time to experience my journey—my truth.

#TRYAGAIN

January 19, 2021 by malcommoon

alcohol, black boy joy, COVID-19, evolution, family, grief, loneliness, manifestation, mental health, music, self care, self love, therapy, transformation, trauma

“Sorry for my tardy / Long time, I was brokenhearted” -Brandy

I honestly didn’t think I would be here—be the person I am right now. It’s truly a miracle. What started as a short hiatus to fully support the rollout for my debut EP turned into fourteen months of silence. I never imagined the series of events that would occur during that time. So much was stripped away from me—emotionally, mentally, and physically—that I had no choice but to be still and start looking deeply within myself. ‘Cause what I knew before wasn’t working. Something had to change.

CONTENT WARNING: Alcohol and mental health.

The following details that I’m about to share are quite difficult to talk about as I’m still working through what transpired and what led me there. However, I share this information to liberate myself from the shame that I carried. You’re free now.

On January 1, 2020, I woke up at Lenox Hill Hospital. I didn’t know how I got there, why I was there, and what was going on. All I remember was having a small get together at my place with some good friends. Cut to me in a bright, sterile room with an IV in my arm and three of my best friends looking at me with worry and exhaustion. Long story short, I lost control. I went out with a couple of friends (and a boy who I was flirting with at my place) to a bar. I had not eaten a full meal since early that afternoon and proceeded to drink beyond my limits. The night took a turn when I hit my head on the wooden bar and became unconscious. I’m still very grateful that my friends didn’t leave me that night. They accompanied me to the hospital, contacted my best friends to meet us there, and ensured that I was okay. After hearing a detailed recount of the night, I was immediately horrified and embarrassed. I remember the nurses asking me if I had an issue with alcohol or drugs.¹ “No,” I firmly responded. I’m not an alcoholic, but I somehow got to a really dark place.

The harsh reality is that I could have died that night. My family in Georgia was alerted of the incident, and let me tell you, one of the lowest moments of my life was crying on the phone to my mom, sister, and grandma. I didn’t recognize this person that made such a huge mistake. I definitely felt ashamed and disgusted with myself. But the crazy thing is—I suppressed it. I swore my friends to secrecy and went into work the next day like nothing happened. Out of sight, out of mind—I thought. The only reminder of my trauma was a hefty bill to cover the MRIs, ambulance, and labs. Each month, I was forced to atone through monetary transactions for my sins. What a way to start the year.

The next couple of months were looking promising. I was a master of saving face, and luckily, I had a huge task ahead of me to distract from the drama. The lead single of my debut EP was coming out in early February. I also shot a music video with an amazing crew of creatives that would accompany the release. I was finally stepping out as the artist that I dreamed of being since age four. Over two and a half years of work, and it was time to share my music with the world. When “insecure” dropped, I felt a love like no other. People were listening. People were watching. The feedback was incredible, exhilarating, and deeply humbling. I was so proud because it was a moment that was created with some of the best people. I’m seriously smiling as I write this because I just think of the memories in the studio and that day on set for the video. It was magic, and everyone involved truly believed in the project. I strongly think that the song was successful due to the incredible work of my collaborators—you know who you are. The song would eventually place on Spotify’s New from NYC: Pop playlist and reach over 1,000 streams, which was the only goal that I had for the project. To keep up the momentum, I was already planning an experience for the promotional single “honeymoon phase” with a local coffee shop, which would be released in mid-March. But life had other plans.

photography by Jesse Herndon

Coronavirus. Lockdown. No gatherings of 20 or more people. No gatherings of 10 or more people. Stay at home orders. Wear your masks and keep your distance. Shortages of toilet paper. Buying knock-off hand sanitizer online. I think you get the picture. We were all thrust into a pandemic like no other. It was scary, because no one truly had the answers. Your daily routine suddenly stopped. There was no going into the office anymore. No in-person hangouts with friends. You were forced to adapt. As you might have guessed, my collaborative experience with Little Bean Coffee was cancelled. I was really bummed because we spent months creating a signature drink and launch event in support of the single. More so, I was sad to see how this virus was hitting the livelihood of local businesses. It pains me to say that my friend’s coffee shop didn’t survive. So much loss was surrounding me. But nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for what happened next.

“And I know you’re shining down on me from heaven / Like so many friends we’ve lost along the way / And I know eventually we’ll be together / One sweet day (and I’ll wait patiently to see you in heaven)” -Mariah Carey

April 28, 2020. This day is officially the worst day of my life. What most people don’t know is that I had been traveling back and forth between New York and Georgia more frequently in the year prior. I was just there in February to visit my grandma. Her health was declining, but I was hopeful that things would turn around. She was incredibly strong, resilient, and God-fearing. We had spent time together, and I even got to show her my music video for “insecure,” which she loved. The trip ended like they always did. She begged me not to leave, and I assured her that I would be back soon. We exchanged “I love you’s” and that was the last time I saw my grandma physically.

It’s still too painful to discuss that day in April and the weeks to follow. Losing my Nanny was the most heartbreaking moment of my life. I cried all day and night. I honestly felt like a part of me died that day. Someone who I talked to every morning was no longer with me. A huge part of my routine was gone. One of my biggest fears had become a reality, and I was forced to carry on.

The funny thing that I learned about grief is that it’s like a scar. Even though there are days that I can’t feel it, it’s still there. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her. I knew that this trauma was too heavy a load to suppress, and eventually, it would need to be unpacked. But I unfortunately felt at the time that I had to just make it through. Over the next few months, there were some major life changes that occurred. I moved into a new apartment, released my debut EP, quietly came out to my family, and celebrated my 27th birthday. However, all of those “wins” were accompanied by more loss of loved ones/family friends, senseless murders of black kings and queens and trans warriors, endings of friendships/working relationships, and an increased feeling of isolation and loneliness.

I soon grew annoyed with myself. I was tired about being sad, alone, and emotionally exhausted. My glow was dimming, and I started to run on half empty. Nothing seemed to bring me out of my dark cloud. I knew that I would be reunited with Nanny one day, but until that day comes, how was I going to survive and regain a sense of agency in my life?

photography by Jesse Herndon

“Plus, I met someone else / We’re havin’ better discussions / My therapist” -Ariana Grande

Yes, you read that correctly. I, Malcom Moon, started therapy in August because I felt like I had no other choice.² I swallowed my pride and sought help. Once a week, I meet with my therapist to discuss how I’m feeling, and he helps me navigate my thoughts and reactions to certain situations.³ Boy, do we dig deep! In my sessions, I’ve discovered so much about myself and my tendencies. I finally had someone that I could talk to about anything and everything. Someone who doesn’t simply tell me what I want to hear. Someone who gives affirmation and advises me to block my self-deprecating blows.

Many breakthroughs have been made since my time in therapy. I’m better equipped to manage toxic environments as I prepare my removal from them. My communication skills have vastly improved. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to start demanding and giving myself the respect, love, and attention that I give to others. That was huge. Expressing your wants and needs is not selfish. Also, suppression doesn’t help the situation. It just builds resentment or frustration and creates a space for the same issues to occur. Like damn, I felt seen.

In therapy, I’m finally starting to regain a sense of self. For so long, I felt like I was floating, and now, I’m slowly receiving my anchors back down to Earth. It feels so nice to open up and discuss all my hurt in stark honesty without the fear of being judged. Also, some days aren’t always bad. It’s refreshing to celebrate my strides and accomplishments. Overall, I’m learning the tools to help repair certain relationships, getting to know myself further, and unpack a lot of the baggage that I’ve carried for so long. I firmly believe that therapy is an ongoing process. I don’t think I’m going to wake up one day and be “cured” of all my problems and anxieties. However, there may come a day when I no longer need a third party to guide me through trying situations. That day hasn’t come yet, and I’m perfectly fine with that.

To anyone who is reading this and considering therapy, I advise that you take your time and find the right therapist for you. Do your research. There’s no shame in prioritizing your mental health and emotions, especially during this time. But you also have to want it for yourself. Trust, I toyed with the idea of therapy for years. However, there’s a stigma in the black community that we can do it all alone.⁴ Let me be the first to tell you that sometimes you simply cannot.⁵ Sometimes, you need a third party to clear out the muck in your mind and allow you to see those avenues of opportunity and growth. Remember, you are deserving of happiness and achieving your aspirations. You are deserving of care and attention. You are worthy of love.

“So how are we going to fix it?” -Malcom Moon

Healing. It’s harder than it seems, but it is attainable. If I’m being honest, I’m still healing from my grandma’s passing. That one is going to take a long time, and that’s okay. My other traumas, fortunately, had quicker expiration dates. I started to see the tides turn in September, and in the last four months of 2020, I truly began the healing process. One thing that helped me was to shift the focus to matters bigger than myself. It’s no secret that I am a black, gay man. So with the resurgence of Black Lives Matter and my rights continually being jeopardized, I had to speak out.

I started to engage in more political and socioeconomic conversations on my social media. I donated to the ACLU, the Biden-Harris campaign, various black-owned organizations, LGBTQ+ advocacy groups, and the Warnock and Ossoff campaigns respectively. It was extremely rewarding to see the fruits of my labor. Huge shout-out to all the Georgians who showed up and helped save our democracy not once but twice! I’ve never been more proud of my home state. In November, I participated in Movember by growing a mustache to raise funds and awareness for men’s health, prostate and testicular cancer research, and suicide prevention. My network was able to raise over $300 which is incredible! Then in December, I participated in Operation Santa with the USPS by adopting a child for the holiday season and purchasing items of their wish list. If you know me, you know I love Christmas. Nothing brought me more joy than providing some festive cheer to a young child during this pandemic. These philanthropic actions reminded me about the power of humanity and restored a sense of optimism in my life. I’m forever grateful for the opportunities and the lessons learned.

The second thing that helped was taking a moment to retreat to my loved ones. I went back home to Georgia for about six weeks. For the first time in nine years, I was able to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I was home for my nephew’s first birthday, my sister’s 30th birthday, and of course, Christmas. While these holidays were our first without Nanny, it was still a magical celebration of familial bonds, good health, and survival. My nephew made all the festivities feel special as we were able to continue the sacred traditions for him. I thank God for blessing our family with his arrival. He helped bring the spark back to our family. So many memories were made, and I’m truly grateful. Plus, I realized how much I needed my family’s love and support. We were able to honor my grandma’s memory together, and I wasn’t alone. I finally laughed and smiled again. It felt like I could exhale. I missed that feeling. It was euphoric. It reminded me that there’s still more left for me to experience and achieve.

“All the while, I await my armored fate with a smile / Still wanna try, still believe in / Good days” -SZA

On December 31, 2020, I was surrounded by my favorite people in the entire world. My mom was the epitome of festive, supplying us all with 2021 glasses, “Happy New Year” scribed headbands, and party horns to ring in the New Year. My nephew was highly confused by our excitement and probably wanted to go back to sleep. My sister was busy tending to the baby and laughing at some of the questionable performances on TV. I had two glasses of my mom’s celebratory cocktail, and shortly after the countdown, I went to bed. A far contrast from the year prior, and it was intentional. I no longer was that man anymore. Earlier that month, I made the final payment on that hospital bill. Goodbye trauma and goodbye 2020. I was given a second chance, and after everything that I went through, I wasn’t about to repeat that same cycle. No ma’am, no sir. My future is far too bright. The light is coming and the darkness will fade.

photography by Jesse Herndon

“And if at first you don’t succeed / Then dust yourself off and try again / You can dust it off and try again, try again” -Aaliyah

Being back in New York is oddly refreshing. My apartment looks the same but feels drastically different. Maybe it’s all in thanks to the sage, but the energy feels renewed. I’ll admit it. I’m terrified of what lies ahead. I know what I want to achieve. Shoot, I’m making a vision board tomorrow because the power of manifestation is real. All of the things that I took a break from (songwriting, singing, blogging, dreaming) have to be awakened. Creativity and art are my offerings to the world. Without them, I’m doing myself a disservice. I have to try again—knowing that I could fail or not receive the outcome that I hoped for. I don’t know what my songs will sound like, what my visuals will look like, or how the experience will make me feel. But I can’t live my life in ‘what ifs.’ Last year was a year of transformation, and this year is one of application.

References
¹ https://www.alcoholrehabguide.org/resources/dual-diagnosis
² https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
³ https://therapyforqpoc.com/
⁴ https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/July-2018/Challenging-Mental-Health-Stigma-in-the-Black-Comm
⁵ https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/how-can-we-break-mental-health-barriers-communities-color
The featured image and all of the photos included are selections from Jesse Herndon‘s ‘Transformation’ series.

#INTERNATIONAL

It’s amazing how daydreams can manifest into reality. Give it a little time and your wildest hopes can come back around full circle. As a lover of cinema, I fantasized about traveling the world and seeing all the sights depicted in some of my favorite films. I wanted to ride the double decker bus like in Spice World, frolic through the countryside like Elio and Oliver in Call Me By Your Name, and eat the finest cuisine with my girl Samin in the Netflix smash Salt Fat Acid Heat. At the end of the day, I’m just a Lizzie looking for her Gordo. All the narratives that I created in my mind seemed so far out of reach, but little did I know that I was about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime.

This past summer, I was extremely fortunate to spend 11 days in London accompanying my job as the social media lead and marketing consultant during their recording sessions at Abbey Road Studios. But wait, it gets better. Not only would I be stepping on British soil, but I was able to extend my return flight in order to spend a week in my ultimate dream vacation spot—Italy! Yes, you read that correctly. A 2-for-1? He won! “Hey now, hey now. This is what dreams are made of,” indeed.

I was beyond excited yet a little terrified. While this was my first European excursion, I would be doing it alone. Are hostels a safe option? Is it easy to get around in a foreign country? Would I make friends? I just had to shake off those nervous jitters and focus on the blessings ahead. My flight would leave the day after my 26th birthday. Lord knows that I needed some time to focus on myself and live life. My passport was ready to get stamped, and I’m not gonna lie: I was starting to feel like Rickey Thompson. “I’m going overseas!”

Before I get into the overall experience and lessons learned, I wanted to share some advice that truly resonated with me. If you are considering traveling abroad and you’re hesitant about doing it alone, keep these words of wisdom in mind. On the day of my trip, one of my closest friends shared five tips that I used throughout my entire trip:

The hardest thing to do will be leaving your hostel/Airbnb on your first morning, but once you do it, you are free to explore and the fear fades.
Be safe. Save the number and address of your hostel. When in doubt, simply duck into the nearest hostel.
Try every dish/drink you can get your hands on. Spoil yourself.
Dating apps help to have someone to go out with at night. Have fun. Be safe.
Soak in as much culture as you can. Sit and simply bask. This is a trip by you and for you.

These tips were so simple yet the value was immeasurable. At the end of the day, I didn’t have to worry about meeting the expectations of a group or compromising with others. The itinerary was all curated by me, and it was time to be a little selfish. With these gems, I was invincible and ready to seize the opportunities before me.

When I tell you that London is so damn clean? That’s one of the first things I noticed when I hopped into my cab. It seems like all Londoners are on board for keeping the city clean. Also, the parks were absolutely serene. I took a stroll through Hyde Park and saw the most majestic herd of swans. Like they actually looked happy to be there, unlike all the New York animals that create a tinge of guilt and sadness inside when you see them. The amount of greenspace was extremely comforting as a suburban kid from Georgia. It’s actually one of the main things I miss about home, so it was nice to establish a connection from the start.

Despite my hectic work schedule, I was determined to explore and sightsee as much as possible. I was able to squeeze in some of the main tourist attractions like Buckingham Palace, seeing shows on the West End and the Globe, and visiting the Victoria and Albert Museum. However, the biggest priority was reuniting with a collection of friends who I haven’t seen in ages. It’s amazing to see where life leads you and how two wandering paths can reconnect yet it’s like you’ve never parted. That’s the sign of a genuine friendship. From talking about music and cultural acclimation with Aidan, to grabbing drinks at Nine Lives with Olivia, to laughing over Jamaican food in Brixton with Jamie, to enjoying a quaint brunch near Camden with Malin, each moment felt like an extension from our last encounter. I’m forever grateful for the memories created and cannot wait to see them all again.

A friend suggested that I sign up for one of the street art walking tours that London offers. Let me tell you that it was one of the best decisions ever. My guide was a street artist himself and extremely knowledgeable about the scene and the evolution of the form. Exploring the alleyways near Shoreditch, I was deeply immersed into the culture and learned how artists gained notoriety and respect. The tags were so bold, edgy, and utterly beautiful in how they complimented the overall area. It would be hard to imagine the buildings and street poles without their plastering decor of political statements, cultural influences, and striking designs. I definitely left with a newfound respect for tagging and murals.

However, the greatest honor and most unforgettable moment was my time at the renowned Abbey Road Studios—hands down! Words cannot describe how visceral and emotional it was to walk down the main hallway and immediately see photos of the late Amy Winehouse with Tony Bennett, Mark Ronson, Sam Smith, and of course, The Beatles. So much history breathes in the space and it felt like my musical idols were my guardian angels over those four days. My job was lucky enough to record in Studio One where film scores for The Lord of the Rings trilogy and Skyfall came to life. The space was absolutely massive. I’ve never seen anything like it. To be in the same room as the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra and the National Youth Choirs of Great Britain was insane. The musical excellence was of another stratosphere, and I learned so much about the recording process for live musicians. The patience, dedication, and precision of everyone in that space inspired me to become a better artist. It was just really fucking surreal. While being a spectator was a joy, I hope to return to Abbey Road to record my own music. I got goosebumps at the thought alone.

Where do I begin with Italy? Like my, my, my. Everything about Italy was a dream. Everywhere you looked was a camera-ready moment. It felt like I was literally walking through a painting. Never had I seen a place so drop-dead gorgeous with a calming yet vivacious energy. The people were extremely kind and most people spoke English, which was great for me. I tried to prep by listening to a podcast to learn Italian, but honestly, full immersion is the best teacher. With each city I visited, I soaked up as much of the culture as possible—taking a crack at the language, learning about the history, and being introduced to the hobbies and lifestyle of the people.

My first stop was the beautiful city of Venice. I was only there for a day, which was the perfect amount of time for me. It was the perfect place to wander and get lost in the labyrinth of alleyways and shops along every corner. The architecture was captivating with the rustic, Tuscan-inspired orange buildings that glistened in the sun. Riding in a vaporetto (or water taxi) along the Grand Canal was breathtaking and cost effective. Ain’t nobody got time to spend 80 euros on a gondola ride. No, thank you. Holla at me when I’m not single, haha! While I did enjoy the panoramic views of the city from the top of the San Marco campanile, the shining moment was having authentic carbonara at this restaurant along the Canal. The best pasta that ever graced my lips. Oh, I’m tearing up just thinking about it.

If there’s one place that has my heart, it’s Florence. Possessing more artistic and philosophical institutions, the region felt more intellectual with a somewhat suburban flair. Immediately, I got the sense that it wouldn’t be difficult to start a family here. And let me tell you, I’ve been considering it. My three days in Florence were the most adventurous, unforgettable, and exciting excursions of my entire life. I can’t go into all the details—a man has to keep some things sacred—but the main catalyst behind my undying love for the region was the people I met along the way. I hit it off with one of my hostel mates, a German girl named Sophia, who was extremely lovely and kind. We talked about the differences between our cultures, education, politics, and the like. It got deep, honey. I’ll never forget grabbing gelato and watching the street performers on the Ponte Vecchio. Amazing!

I met Tristan, another German, on my Tuscany-in-a-Day bus tour. Fast friends, we enjoyed a wine tasting in Siena, got lost in San Gimignano (a story for another time), and chatted on the quad outside the Leaning Tower of Pisa. One of the nicest dudes with a passion for photography and travel, he became my travel partner for the day. What I appreciated most about him was his willingness to have an adventure. He was down for anything and helped me step outside of my more planned demeanor. Also, we each finally had someone to capture photos or (in my case) twerking boomerangs of ourselves, haha. No more selfies! He later introduced me to Ana from Brazil, who was also on the tour with us. The newfound three amigos decided to grab dinner afterwards and ate the most delicious gluten free pizza and tender steak while planning our next reunion in South America.

Now, I told you that I did have some wild nights in Florence. I honestly don’t think I got home before 2 am any night I was there. That’s because I met my Italian ride-or-die, Filippo. Connected by our mutual friend Jamie, Filippo introduced me to nightlife and the bar scene. I won’t go into too much of the details, but let’s just say that I had the time of my life. Such a great guide. I’m forever grateful for his kindness and companionship. Thanks for the memories.

Roma—the last stop on my escapade—was full of checking boxes off my list and embracing all the historical sights. You know your boy had to see the Colosseum, stroll through the Roman Forum, and marvel at the vast glory in the Vatican. It’s amazing how these ancient ruins are still standing yet my New York apartment can’t seem to withstand a little water from my upstairs neighbors. But I digress. Luckily, I was able to experience the capital in true Roman fashion, thanks to Angela. The cousin of one of my close friends from college, Angela introduced me to aperitivos. I can kind of compare it to grabbing a drink after work with friends and having a light snack to go along with it. Many aperitivos are served at outdoor cafes which are incredibly relaxing as the sun sets and the temperatures start to cool down. Sitting back with an Aperol spritz and enjoying good company—who could ask for anything more?

I will admit that Rome was not my favorite. Yes, it’s absolutely stunning and I had some of the best wine at all hours of the day (when in Rome). However, it was extremely hot and some people weren’t as friendly in comparison to my previous destinations. It was also the first moment of my trip when I felt lonely. Florence and Venice were full of so much interaction and new friends, while Rome was more solitude. In those moments, I was able to reflect more on my life and hold a mirror up to some of the harsh realities. For example, I learned that I can be very needy at times. I also realized that I still hate eating alone in restaurants. Furthermore, when I feel anxious, I tend to exclude myself from interacting with others. And for that, I owe Rome a huge thank you. So much growth happened in that magical city. Now I know that I can overcome these bad habits by making a conscious effort to recognize and accept these insecurities.

Overall, my first European vacation was a magical moment full of memories that I’ll cherish for a lifetime. And in case you were wondering, I did toss a coin into the Trevi Fountain. So this is only the beginning.

#ISSALOOK

April 18, 2019 by malcommoon

ariana grande, bad bunny, fashion, friday, high waisted denim shorts, issa look, lifestyle guide, manicures, men's fashion, post malone, prints, spring, style, sunblock, white sneakers

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had an affinity for fashion. There’s something truly magical about the power of an amazing outfit. Like a soldier’s armour, it can provide protection. Like a doctor’s scrubs, it can establish profession and status. Like an actor’s costume, it can convey a message. Fashion as commentary is liberating and challenging, yet that’s what excites me—that grey area is where discoveries are made.

Some have described me as a trendy dresser, which is humbling because I’d be lying if I said I didn’t try. Even if I’m dressing down in a sweatshirt and jeans, you best believe that—at the very least—my frumpy ensemble is meeting my basic requirements of a socially acceptable outfit. How do you make such a look passable? Confidence. Wear what makes you feel good and you will radiate that same energy. 9 times out of 10, others will feel your glow and either pay you a compliment or give you that double take like daaamn! Mission accomplished.

Friends have often said that I should blog about my fashion choices and offer some tips as a guide. I guess that’s the inspiration behind today’s post. But I do want to state: to deem something as fashionable is purely subjective. It all depends on your aesthetic, your background, and variety of other influences. Which goes to show that any of the following tips listed in this blog may not be for you. That’s okay. Hopefully, you can apply certain elements to your daily life or simply appreciate the images/gifs/pop culture references.

Despite this cloudy overcast in Manhattan, warmer days are right around the corner. It’ll be time to shed some layers, bask in the sunshine, and prepare for your defenses against scorching temperatures and sweating buckets on the MTA. Feeling a little anxious? Have no fear because here are my five spring 2019 essentials that will keep you cool for the summer.

Prints

Photo courtesy of ASOS¹

If you are looking to make a statement or catch someone’s eye, I cannot emphasize the power of a printed shirt. You can go the more subtle route with a simple geometrical look or elevate your style with an intense abstract design or all-over floral. Spring brings brighter colors and a renewed, carefree energy. A print can draw attention upwards and make you look more approachable.

Manicures

Ladies have been on this wave for years and killing it! Thankfully, as of late, toxic masculinity is getting the boot, and men are becoming more open to the idea of self-care. Think about it. You are probably going to be invited to a couple roof parties or social outings in mixed company. You don’t want to be that guy with the jacked up nails and awkward gorilla paws. That ain’t the move. Shake hands with confidence by taking care of your nail beds. If Bad Bunny and Post Malone align with your style icons, follow suit and try adding a little color or design to your look. Taking risks can payoff.

White Sneakers

Photo courtesy of ASOS²

Some trends never go out of style, and this one is a classic. With bold top apparel (like a printed shirt), it’s nice to keep your footwear simple. You don’t want to create too much competition and have the eye torn between where to pay attention. A fresh pair of white kicks are versatile, working with a casual look or sophisticated formal wear. Also, there’s something sexy about a very clean white shoe. Get into it!

High-Waisted Denim Shorts

Photo courtesy of Etsy³

A retro-twist to your spring look can be a major move this season. Like the white sneakers, this throwback staple is a gift that keeps on giving. Accent your best assets. Whether it’s your legs or your butt, high waisted shorts will lift and elongate. A two-in-one, you won!

Sunblock

With increasing effects of climate change and stronger UV rays, protecting your skin is highly important. This is mainly a reminder to myself, because I will admit that there are times where I honestly just forget. Not anymore. Ain’t nobody got time to blend in with the shade being thrown this season. Don’t let them catch you slippin’. Do your research and find the proper sunscreen that works with your skin profile. Sunblock helps you maintain ageless skin and instills better health practices.

While there are a plethora of other items that could have made the list, these are just some of my key picks. I plan to walk the walk this spring and follow through by applying these tips. Let me know in the comments below what your spring essentials are. Otherwise, be comfortable in your clothes, feel confident, and radiate positivity. Then, post a picture of your new fit on the ‘gram. I’m sure it will warrant me commenting in the words of Ariana Grande, “issa mood…issa vibe…issa look…issa match.’

References
¹https://bit.ly/2KNeZOB
²https://bit.ly/2V5LStI
³https://etsy.me/2XjDjcf

#20NICEteen

January 10, 2019 by malcommoon

20niceteen, catcher in the rye, change, harriet the spy, holden caulfield, hustling, issa rae, manifest, new york, twenty-somethings

How many of you have seen Harriet the Spy (1996)? Chiiile, if you haven’t, you need to stop what you are doing and immediately see if this gem is still available on Hulu or Netflix. I’m sure someone uploaded a recording of their VHS tape in like 12 parts on YouTube. Anyways, there’s a scene where Harriet’s nanny, Golly, takes her and her best friends to this “garden-meets-art exhibition.” Ran by the ever eclectic Miss W, Golly remarks, “There are as many ways to live in this world as there are people in this world, and each one deserves a closer look.” Now as a twenty-something, I realize the beauty and validity of her statement. We live in a culture that’s so quick to pass judgement. The overstimulation of a digital world where Twitter fingers lead most of us to speak out before taking the moment to reflect on the gravity of our words. Otherness is viewed with fear and hesitation. Talks of a physical barricade keep appearing in the news. It’s just a crazy fucking world.

But that’s what I love about New York. That otherness is mostly accepted. Since I’ve moved here, I’m constantly surrounded by interesting people with unique backgrounds, beliefs, and ideologies—many differing from my own. But I learn something new each day about myself through these vessels. How do I react when a homeless man who probably hasn’t bathed in weeks enters the subway train? Why do I feel this way? Do I dress differently than most men working in Midtown? Why do I feel a wave of insecurity at the gym? Holden Caulfield may think New York is full of phonies, but it hosts an energy that allows you to confront some of the most terrifying parts of yourself. Maybe that’s just what your twenties are. A weird, confusing stage in which you try to navigate a career, your fantasies, love and more—all while trying to find a sense of direction. There’s a sense of freedom here.

That’s what I’m trying to embrace. Those moments where I come closer to understanding myself more and celebrating those moments. Over the past year, I went through a major change. I regained my control. I stopped feeding into the bullshit idea that I was stuck in an awful position. I created a list of things that I want to accomplish and brainstormed ways of how to achieve them. This sounds super cliché, but it worked.

Suddenly, doors started to open and I met some creative people who became teachers, collaborators, and friends. Issa Rae said, and I’m paraphrasing, that you shouldn’t try to work with someone who’s already made it or is on a higher level. You should work with your friends who are “hustling and hungry” too. That was a game changer for me. I was meeting creators who are down in the trenches with me. Constantly making art and perfecting their crafts. It’s these people that reminded me that I too am an artist. Music, dance, literature, photography, and film. These are things that fulfill me. I had to get back to that, which as a result, led myself back to me.

So, that’s what this year is about. A continuation of my journey to unveil new discoveries and manifest all that is mine. So go and give yourself another look. You’d be surprised at what you find and all that you’re capable of.